THE YEAR THAT WAS 2015

This is a little "early" to be classified as a year end post...but play along! See if you agree

I find it the craziest of our behaviours when I see us, as human beings, become philosophical when traumatic events overtake us and disrupt our lives. Casing point…death! We all become the greatest and deepest of thinkers when we are affected by a close relationship that ceases to exist because of the separation of body and soul.

“He lived a full life…”

“He lived to his very last…”

“He was such a gentle soul, the best at being there for you when you needed…”

“She was such a charming lady, always happy”

Seems we only ever take time to reflect on all the good that we have only after the bad or the traumatic.

Is it maybe because we have allowed our lives to be so overrun and consumed on the next achievement and next high that we forget to take stock of the current? Are we too busy seeking the perfect job to enjoy the one we have? Too consumed with the pursuit of “economic freedom” that we completely neglect the very precious lives we have?

If this state of living was a crime, I would be sentenced to the maximum term! I too have lived this current year from one event to the next, never taking time to breathe and enjoy the precious moments that were passing me by. I forgot to take in the views on the magical runs. I took for granted that feeling of having your stomach drop out of your belly when planes were taking off. I have grown numb to the screams I made on rollercoasters and the screams and shrieks I made in a scary movie. I just forgot to be present!

I had the most fascinating talk with my CFO this morning at work. If there are any two persons who could complain about a TOUGH year…it would be the two of us! From being the only finance professionals in the entire organization to trying to instill some culture change…we have the scars! She reminded me about the importance of taking stock of victories every day! No matter how small. She suggested something that I plan to implement as soon as I get back to the office!

So here, boys and girls, is how a young, bright and gifted CFO has taught me to keep track of all my victories

1.       Get yourself a jar. Any size…it does not matter

2.       Place this jar on your table. A spot that will from today be known as the spot on your table for THAT jar!

3.       Every time you “win”, write it on a piece of paper…put that paper in a jar!

4.       Read these victories whenever you are in doubt, feel overwhelmed and to remind yourself that there are certain moments in life that are worth living and savouring!

I am hoping that this exercise helps me to take proper account of all the good that happen each day! That at the end of the week…end of the month or end of the year, I can look back and relive the moments I conquered the things I never thought I could or simply enjoyed the moment. I want to dip into the pockets of happiness and drink from the sprout of joy long after the moment has evaporated. I want to be philosophical everyday. To savour the joys of every day.

I step into 2016 with an enormous amount of gratitude. For all the victories of the year that was along with all the sorrows. The sorrows were necessary to see this amazing transformation and growth! Can we dub 2016 the year of gratitude? The year of reminding ourselves about all the good that happens in a world that seems to be so overrun with bad. Let it be a year of taking in the moments! A year of freely and exuberantly enjoying the “Oh wow!!!”.

Here is to a year of half empty and of sunshine on a cloudy day!

Here is to 2016!

#LiveInYourSeason

Quiet dinners are where my soul is recharged and renewed. Keep your clubs and pubs…quiet, intimate, “get to know me” and “lets build each other” type of conversation is what my heart always skips to. So when my best friend invited me for dinner, my soul was already expectant of the awesomeness that was about to unfold. Little did I know how profound an impact on my soul the conversation would have!

The conversation started off as a catch-up exercise. Questions like “how are you” and “dude, it has been so long, what have you been up to” were served as the appetizer that night. It delighted my soul that my friend was keeping well, keeping strong in the faith and was really doing well in her career. Because we had not seen each other in a while, the appetizer portion of our conversation went on for a good hour, we laughed hard, almost in appreciation of the quality of the plate that was presented before us (we were glad to be in a place where everyone seemed to be having “starters” in their individual conversations as the room was full of hearty laughs – my laugh is known to get us stares and near evictions from eateries).

Once we had caught up, we decided that a semi-serious pallet cleanser was in order just before we get ourselves stuck into the “meat” of the conversation. The topic moved to a recent meeting I had with an ex and how the events of that day brought clarity to my soul.

After detailing the events of that day, my friend asked me how I was doing following the end of the relationship and the answer I had completely set my soul at peace about events that followed the break-up. “I have never been happier” was my answer to her question and immediately I felt I needed to qualify this statement so that I would not come across as a heartless man who moves on too quick or simply doesn’t care for that person anymore. This is how I explained it to my friend: I feel like I am happy now because I am getting to really know who I am…for me! What interests me? What type of movies do I really like? What kind of a woman am I really interested in? Am I an indoor or outdoor person? Do I really like ice cream? Do I want to get married…EVER? What do I think about cross-cultural relationships? Do I want children? How many children do I want? What language will they speak? Do I want to play Jacaranda FM in my car or do I want to blast my massive hip-hop collection to the max? I am happy because I am finally (without the pressures of someone who knew who they are and what they want) getting to understand what makes me happy.

My friend then offered the mains for that night in one simple statement…”it is your season…” This immediately resonated in my soul as if I was looking for that exact phrase all along to quantify what this phase of my life was for me! It is my season and I am meant to live it to the full because answering those questions about all the silly things that made me the imperfect mate so that one day…when the season of becoming someone’s mate comes around…I am able to answer all those questions with certainty and conviction.

So I am living my season. I am actively pursing all things that make me happy and discovering those that do not make me happy. I am defining new boundaries that I believe in. Not my girlfriend…not my parents…not my church…I am living in this season to fully discover all that God has hidden within me! People often look at me with sadness when I tell them about the end of the relationship Iso cherished. Sadness should never be the emotion we feel when entering into a new season. Expectation should be the overriding feeling. We should be expecting to wear new clothes, start new habits, dine at new places…just redefine how the world knows us and relates to us.

So to all my brothers and sisters…this here was my “take-away” from that night. live in your season. No matter which season you are in. Whether it be a season of financial prosperity or financial lack; blossoming relationships or ones that have just ended; academic success or failure…live in your season because it is within that season that God prepares us for the next season in our lives.

From an incredibly happy brother redefining all his emotions, ambitions, preferences and characteristics in this season of his life…and loving it…I bless God for friends who reveal greatness from within us! Blessed rest of the year ahead.

#LiveInYourSeason 

The Africa I dream of...

I often sit in awe of the amount of aid that comes Africa's way. Like the orphan of the world, handouts are often given to this sleeping continent not because the world wants to, but because of some moral obligation towards a continent abused for centuries. Like an orphan, lady Africa continues to take “aid” without discrimination as her need to survive far outweighs the need to sustainably remove herself from the vicious cycle of take and beg for more.

I, for one, dream of an Africa too proud to perpetuate the cycle of hand-to-mouth survival. I dream of an Africa whose bountiful resources are allocated amongst her children as wisely as the many mothers of the continent to their offspring on a daily basis. I dream of an Africa where those in power rule over the continent as a family that works together to better itself, where brother lifts up brother and sister hides the shortcomings of another sister. I dream of an Africa prosperous for all her people. An Africa where our girls are protected and our boys nurtured to become the very protectors. I dream of an all-inclusive Africa, where religion, race, culture and sexual orientation differences are acknowledged only as a measure of how unique we all are in the eyes of the Lord.

My Africa is far from perfect.

In fact, the religious intolerance in Nigeria, the continued rape of women in South Africa, the incapacity of the African Union to lead a united African agenda, the ever increasing presence of terrorism, significant levels of government corruption and the instances of misappropriation of aid meant for the poorest highlight just how imperfect my Africa is.

In spite of this, I hold on to "the Africa I dream of"…not because I am naïve, but because I am part of the greater generation that needs to work towards the realization of this dream. Our generation is given the opportunity to move towards this goal every day. Whether it be in the functions we perform at church, the kind gestures we make towards those who are different and those who do not know us, the mentoring of a young man who would otherwise not have a positive role model, in the rebuttal of and correction of my xenophobic brothers and sisters’ way of thinking or taking up an active role in government…we are given the chance to shape our Africa every day.

I choose to get involved because the Africa I dream of is the inheritance I would like to leave unto the generations to come. It’s time we as a people stopped being social media activists and rise up to the challenges we are faced. It’s time we stop being religious criers of empty prayers without action. Rise up young generation. Get involved. Actively shape lady Africa into the abundant and bountiful place she has the potential to become. This is the legacy our generation should leave for the coming generation.

Here I am, send me…let my soul and spirit be agitated to bring the Africa I dream of to reality!

Friendships

Regret.

Time lost.

Wasted energy.

Hurt feelings.

Wishing things turned out different.

Disappointment.

...these are but only a few of the emotions/thoughts I have when I think about past friendships that did not work out. I always believed that I am a person who does not take friendship lightly, who does not easily throw the word "I love you" around, one who could have been described as "sticks closer than a brother"...I let myself and my friends down.

The moment I put down the phone, in my spirit I knew what I was doing was  not cool. That my heart would regret this later. All the justifications in my head screamed louder and louder "You tried! They do not care! Time to move on! Dont waste your time! They should have been happy for you! You deserve better!"...until that was all I heard.

Love in its truest form was silenced in my life. I let momentary madness deprive me of friendships I knew from the bottom of my heart were to last a lifetime. More importantly, I lost prayer partners and warriors.

I pray for peace about it...not that it is easier to bear...but that God grant me the courage to seek peace with the ones I once called friend. I pray that He softens their hearts wherever they are to mine. Sounds cowardly huh? I fear the hurt I caused by my "justified" actions was too much for them to ever want to reconcile.

To hell with fear...literally.

I want my friends back...
I want love to reign in my life. I want love to triumph over animosity, dissapointments and guilts.
I am going to get my friends back.

Today was an incredible day!

My soul is on fire! A fire that refuses to be quenched. A fire that I cannot simply explain away to friends and family. This fire...I swear this fire is caused by the realisation within every strand of my being that I am finally discovering the destiny I was meant to walk into. Let me explain.

I watched in awe this year ,on the 18th of July, when South Africa went on a Nelson Mandela Day frenzy. I absolutely love the idea of the day. A day that brings forth to the minds of every South African, the plight of our people and our moral and social obligation to intervene. I watched in awe as South African people irrespective of race, gender, religion and sexual orientation picked themselves up...sought a worthy cause...and gave of themselves and their time to the cause. A nation that remembered its least, those abandoned, those who cannot fend for themselves. I absolutely loved it.

I quietly sat on the day...in an office park...somewhere in Johannesburg chasing a deadline. It suddenly hit me...what happens tomorrow and the next 364 days between 18 July 2013 and 18 July 2014?

I decided there and then that, for myself and whomever I can influence and whoever is willing to listen, the spirit of Nelson Mandela must not be confined to a single day. How awesome would it be and how incredible a change can we make if his spirit was how we lived life?

My soul began to burn...I contacted a few friends (God-sent angels) about my desire to do something. Within a few days, we were able to raise a significant amount of money to help alleviate some difficulties in the lives of people less fortunate. In the process, my soul exploded into fire. A fire that dances to the rhythm of destiny. A dance that I had never danced before...

I think this fire is a for-sure sign of what I feel in my heart is what I need to be doing in my life. I sit overwhelmed by the need I see surrounding me yet super excited at the prospect of being able to become a vessel for my God on earth to bring social justice and equality back to my people.

Sounds crazy.

But I have decided that I will remember the ideals that Nelson Mandela will one day be remembered for EVERYDAY. That the spirit of Mandela will be a constant reminder that the fight for justice and equality never ends...especially for people who cannot fight themselves.

I endeavour to make everyday a Mandela day.
If not for the sake of Nelson Mandela...for the sake of the love of Jesus Christ that we all claim lives in us...

"Father, if this be Your will for my life...I know that you have already made provision for me to carry out your work. Soften my heart and make it sensitive towards your people. Power me through when I get faint".

Blessed evening!

My very first blog

Wow. My very first blog.

Its a bit strange considering that a couple of years ago, I thought anything to do with "blogging" and "tweeting" was all about buying into the Hollywood stereotype (which I wanted nothing to do with).
I am now a proud owner of a twitter account, a facebook account and now ,as you all read this, a blog that I hope will grow near and dear to all who read it.

"The world awaits..."...that is a statement that I never fully understood up until today.
I decided to start this blog after being inspired by a very courageous and strongly opinionated young lady. She is actually quite the blogger herself. I sat this morning reading her blog and the whole blogging idea made sense to me. She was sharing her thoughts. Thoughts that the world needed to know that she was having. Thoughts that were new, challenging and inspiring. Thoughts which provoked, thoughts which made me think. Isn't that what the world needs? Young men and women who can stand up and say "This is what I believe" and have the space in which to do it.

Do not get me wrong. I know a "blog" cannot change the world.
A wise man said to me the other day "I may not like what you have to say, but I am going to listen because it can make me a better person". That is what I would like to achieve with this blog. I want share my thoughts and feelings with the world, not so that they can agree with me, but so that we can learn from each other.

The word says (yes, I'm going to quote the word...a lot a actually) that God's people will perish due to the lack of knowledge. I believe that the knowledge spoken about in the word is not just actual expertise in a subject matter, but also the council and thoughts of fellow brothers and sisters.

So, in wrapping up my first "blog", I hope that I can at the very least provoke a thought, an emotion, a new way of thinking with the thoughts I will share.

And please, feel free to share whatever thoughts you may have on the subjects that I have "shared".

A blessed weekend.
Dominic.